There are many different types of coaches. Those that are soft-spoken, those that yell quite frequently, player's coaches, and those that are more gruff and rigid in their approach. However drastic their independent styles, most coaches share many of the same characteristics. They are usually tireless workers driven toward success which can lead them to spend many hours at the office especially during the season. For many of us, that means that someone has to be running the household from early August until the unfortunate end to our seasons. Bills must still be paid, laundry must still be washed, and the children need a great deal of care and attention. Many times problems arise that must be solved without consultation while still finding the time to make it to every game and work a full-time job during the week. That person must be tough, resilient, and be willing to sacrifice their own needs to allow us to do something we are so passionate about. Coaches' wives are among the most strong, resourceful people in our society.
One word that I love to talk about with my players on a consistent basis is sacrifice. Our program preaches that an individual must sacrifice greatly for the things it most desires, and that sacrifice is paramount for individual and team success. I've found over the last few years that I have learned a great deal about sacrifice from my wife. Two years ago the head coaching job came open here at Hesston. Before applying, I discussed the possibility of packing up and moving with my wife (then fiancé). With our wedding approaching that summer, it seemed like a difficult proposition to consider. Even with the foreshadowed stresses that would come from selling my house, moving halfway across the state, and leaving her own job in Pittsburg, she was fully behind the idea of making Hesston our new home. That single event created many chain reaction events, but I have been so lucky to have someone who would sacrifice a place and friends she loved to travel down an unbeaten path in a new marriage.
This past year we found a house here in Hesston that we both loved, the only problem with purchasing a new home at that time was that the closing date fell on Homecoming weekend. I had my doubts about whether this was even something we should attempt. However, I had momentarily forgotten that I was married to one of the most determined individuals I know. This was GOING to happen, and we were going to make it work. My wife and I are very different in some ways. I absolutely despise doing things around the house. Very selfishly I tend to think that any time spent at home is rest time. On the contrary, if there is something that my wife deems that needs to be done at home, she will stop at no ends to make sure it is completed. I greatly admire her for that. She is very purposeful and direct in her approach professionally as well. During the weekend of the move and weeks to come, she worked a full-time job and spent many hours late into the night painting, decorating, and turning our house into our home mostly on her own. Needless to say, I was foolish to have reservations about moving at such a time.
In addition to making countless sacrifices around the home and with their families, coaches wives also must have very thick skin. Believe it or not, sometimes fans don't always agree with a coaches decisions on a Friday night. And again, believe it or not, they can be very vocal in their disapproval. I have been extremely fortunate in my career in that I have had great community support wherever I have been. That's not to say that there haven't been a few less than kind comments or coaching tips hurled from the stands at any given point, but perhaps they may have been right. I've made a lot of bad play calls and coaching decisions in my time and readily admit that. Luckily, a football coaches' headset keeps many of those comments from ever reaching their ears. I can only imagine the restraint that it would take for me to set in a public display of my wife's work and listen to someone ridicule her performance. Coaches' wives sometimes can even catch the brunt for her husband's shortcomings. It takes a lot of toughness and fortitude to contain emotions when that sort of thing happens and often times I'm sure they tuck away many of those comments from their husbands. It's not only the wives of head coaches that make great sacrifice. I have great appreciation for our assistant coaches' wives because they make many of those same sacrifices. During football season, coaching is literally a 7-day-a-week job. Practice Monday-Thursday, game Friday night, film Saturday morning, and coaches meetings on Sunday afternoon.
Wives of coaches sacrifice doesn't end when the season is over. There is clinic season, pre-season coaches meetings, summer conditioning, and team functions. Coaches' wives often attend family functions, weddings, and other important events when their husband is fulfilling not only his obligations, but pursuing his passion. Love is measured in many different ways, but in my estimation there is no greater showing of love than sacrificing your own wants and needs for the happiness of the people you love. I greatly admire those who knowingly step into a commitment, in which they know ahead of time, that will test their patience, their energy, their time, and their ability to spend meaningful time with their spouse. I am grateful that I found a companion that allows me to pursue my passions and that she cares enough to sacrifice her own needs to let me do so. I'm so blessed God has given me the greatest teammate I could ever ask for.
I love you, Michelle! Happy Valentine's Day!
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