Over the last few years, I can feel that my passion for learning and growth continues to grow. Two days ago I received a new book that I was anxiously anticipating. The book is titled "The Energy Bus" written by Jon Gordon. The book is extremely well written and is all about exuding positive energy and how that energy can positively affect your family, team, or organization. I was so in tuned to the story and the lessons that the writer cleverly placed within that I couldn't put the book down and finished reading it in just two days. Out of all the passages and anecdotes throughout the book, there was one focus that really caught my attention regarding Energy Vampires. Energy Vampires are those within your organization who have not bought into the vision and direction of the group, and literally suck the positive energy from those around them causing disruption and disarray among your team.
All of us have encountered them. Perhaps even come in contact with them every day. They are the non-believers, the cynics, the pessimist. It's painful for them to be at work or at an early morning workout. No matter the circumstance or situation they seek out the negative. For every positive thought, they find two negatives. Every opportunity is merely an obstacle not worth putting the effort to overcome. There have been countless times in my own professional career when I'm exuberant and energized by a new idea and after presenting that idea to a group, it has been torn apart and trampled upon in a matter of moments. I've seen if from myself as well, perhaps with new strategy presented by an employer. If it's not an idea that benefits me or inconveniences me in some way, I have searched for every possible reason why the idea can't work or produce a positive outcome. When we resort to this sort of practice, we are encouraging poor or safe ideas. Ideas that won't push the envelope or force us to step out of our comfort zone. If those are the only ideas we see fit to pursue, rarely will we see a great transformation. I'm not suggesting that every outlandish or brave idea is a good idea, but if we are always pulling in a different direction we are not working toward a common goal. Jon Gordon talks about getting everyone on "your bus", that everyone within the organization must be in pursuit of a common goal.
So what do we do with ourselves when we, in fact, have become the negative distraction within our organization? It's not something we even have to say. It is communicated through our body language, in our effort to envision the positive, and even within our own thoughts. When we, ourselves, aren't headed in the same direction as our teams or families we are detrimental to the arrival at the destination. Well, we really only have two options. 1: Get off the bus. 2) Redesign or transform our thought process and get on the bus, get on the same page with whoever is driving the bus. We can't always control where the bus is going, but we can control our own thoughts and energy toward the final outcome. Our minds must be open to new ideas, and we must put force positive effort to give the idea an opportunity to be successful. That doesn't mean that it always will, but it will help in making good decisions going forward that lead in the right direction.
If you are the person driving the bus, what do you then do with an Energy Vampire who is wreaking havoc on your team or organization? This brought me to thinking about my own vehicle. As I am driving the vehicle, if I temporarily let go of the wheel, my truck starts the veer off in the wrong direction due to the alignment of the my tires. Even with my hand on the wheel at all times, I'm force to keep the wheel turned slightly to the left. I eventually get to my destination, but not with efficiency. My vehicle is forced to spend extra fuel staying on the right path by pulling against the wheel that is not aligned properly. It is the same in an organization. With Energy Vampires, we are forced to spend extra energy trying to keep the group headed in the right direction because of those that keep pulling us in the wrong direction. In this case, there are still only two very similar options: 1) Align the problem. 2) Make a change if it can't be aligned. Rid your team of the problem by replacing the problem. You, yourself, have to determine if the issue at hand is something that needs to be dealt with because is detrimental to the energy and direction of the group.
It is not easy to make a change or leave someone behind. Their is a certain fear that comes over us, paralyzes us. I've felt it too. It's not easy to be point blank with an Energy Vampire. Often times we may even feel intimated by their power of negativity. They may be someone with great potential and talent. It takes courage to address the issue, and give the individual a chance to get on the bus or exit at the next station. The choice is still theirs. If you outline the vision for the organization and give them the opportunity to align themselves to that vision, it is a conscious choice that only they can make. You will feel a great burden lifted off of your shoulders knowing that the problem has been addressed and lies in their hands. As a coach, we see this quite often. We ask players to be "All In' in their commitment to their team's direction and goals. Players that aren't "All In" miss workouts, aren't coachable, don't pay attention in film sessions, give poor effort, or drag down a team practice with negative energy. It is difficult to leave someone behind. As a leader, you feel that you want to save each one and have failed when that doesn't happen. But at what expense does that become destructive to those focusing on the vision. In my short time as a coach, we have had players that have decided that they didn't want to be on our bus, and over time it proved to be a positive for our team in their preparation, practice, and belief in one another. It was their still their decision. There have also been times that I have failed to properly address Energy Vampires, and in the end it didn't work out for the best for the organization. It takes courage, but you are doing them a favor by doing so and a disservice to them and your team when you fail to do so.
Finally, this does not insinuate that you walk around pointing out flaws with an iron fist. It must done with the right motives and out of love. Present the individual an opportunity to make a decision, but make sure you communicate that it is a choice given to them for their own benefit and the benefit of their team members. You will feel comfort in knowing that you have laid forth the expectations for the right reasons. Ultimately, it is for the greater good. If there is something or someone within your organization that is pulling your team in the wrong direction, address it. Either fix the problem or let the problem fix itself. If you are spending a great deal of time worrying about the problem, then you are not allowed to put your energy or focus into the things that require your attention. Vampires are allergic to light, and will stay in the dark or transform themselves into a new entity. Do your best to pull them into the light because light gives energy to all it touches. Head toward the light and a brighter, bolder future for your organization...
Saturday, February 21, 2015
The Dreamer vs. The Visionary
THE DREAMER
Light floods his blurred vision. As the scene clears, he's making his way down a smoky tunnel. The constant chatter of "click-clack" accompanies his footsteps. He adjusts the Under Armour armband tattooed with his favorite Biblical verse. The lights, only dimmed by the tinted visor shielding him like a Gladiator before taking to the arena. The fans. The roars of the hoards chanting his name. He's on the big stage, and the stage is set.
This is the moment he's been waiting for, his shot at endless fame, at GLORY. How he got here doesn't matter. He's in the moment...HIS moment. His name bellows over the loud-speaker, as he trots onto the field. He finds himself immersed in everything he's ever wanted. He can't exactly remember how he got here, but he's not troubled. "I'm here now. That's all that matters. I've been here countless times."
He came to put on a show, and he hasn't disappointed. The crowd springs to their feet with every dazzling play he makes. He's putting on a clinic picking this defense apart. Tight windows, crazy blitzes, line stunts...He can't be phased. No matter what the opposing team throws at him, he answers without indecision & hurls passes as if from a cannon. After every throw, defenders launch themselves into his body, but he takes body shots better than Rocky. Like a cat chased by a turtle, he can't be caught. He blows by defenders leaving a flash. A dip & a dash, big play after big play, the crowd to a grows to a frenzy.
Time falls into slow motion, the climax is near. His heart thunders with every beat. His breath collects into a crystallized plume in the chilled air, as he buckles his chin strap. It has all come down to this. There is no panic. He was born for this. This moment feels eerily familiar. He takes his drop, the pocket collapses. Arms aimlessly grasping & fingers tugging, but he escapes. Blow after blow, he fights forward with an Herculean type power, dragging opponents along the way. Only one defender stands between him & everlasting glory. He leaps. Extending the football toward the pylon, stretching for every inch....The last second slips from the clock, the buzzer sounds.....(WHACK).....
BEEP....BEEP....BEEP....BEEP....Light floods his dingy, one-room apartment. He can still see his breath. Mother Winter must have gotten the best of his space heater. The only roar resounds from his replica helmet alarm clock. He pulls back the covers as he stretches for the snooze button. He admires the poster of his favorite athlete hoisting the championship trophy. It could have been him. He had dreamed of that moment since he was old enough to walk. Things just never went his way. He always caught the bad break. Bad luck followed him step for step. If only he had been as fortunate as his idol, it would have been different. His dream would have become a reality, not a frequently visited vacation when darkness fell. As he folds his legs over the side of the bed, he slides his feet into his tattered slippers. There will be no click-clack this morning. As he wanders to the coffee pot the Dreamer mutters: "Man...I always wake up just before the best part..."
Light floods his blurred vision. As the scene clears, he's making his way down a smoky tunnel. The constant chatter of "click-clack" accompanies his footsteps. He adjusts the Under Armour armband tattooed with his favorite Biblical verse. The lights, only dimmed by the tinted visor shielding him like a Gladiator before taking to the arena. The fans. The roars of the hoards chanting his name. He's on the big stage, and the stage is set.
This is the moment he's been waiting for, his shot at endless fame, at GLORY. He took the unbeaten path to get here. The narrow road so few have the courage to tread. He's in the moment...HIS moment. His name bellows over the loud-speaker, as he trots onto the field. He finds himself immersed in everything he's ever wanted. Flashes of agony, defeat, and tears flood his memory. Things haven't always been this glorious. There have been countless failures & shortcomings, preparing him for this moment. "I'm here now. That's all that matters."
He came to put on a show, and he hasn't disappointed. The crowd springs to their feet with every dazzling play he makes. He's putting on a clinic picking this defense apart. Tight windows pierced with impeccable timing from hours of after practice routes with his receivers. Crazy blitzes, line stunts...He can't be phased. No matter what the opposing team throws at him, he answers without indecision. He's seen it all in the lonesome 6 a.m. film sessions. He hurls passes as if from a cannon, forged in that musty, dungeon of a weight room. After every throw, defenders launch themselves into his body, but he takes body shots better than Rocky. Abs of steel cut under a single, mid-night light after all others have exited the building. Like a cat chased by a turtle, he can't be caught. He blows by defenders leaving a flash. A dip & a dash, the scouts always said he just wasn't that fast. Those pro-agilities & sprint drills have paid off at last.
The crowd to a grows to a frenzy. Time falls into slow motion, the climax is near. His heart thunders with every beat. His breath collects into a crystallized plume in the chilled air, as he buckles his chin strap. It has all come down to this. There is no panic. Leaders aren't born, their trust from teammates is earned by their unwavering work ethic. This moment feels eerily familiar, but this story has a fairy-tale ending. He takes his drop, the pocket collapses. Arms aimlessly grasping & fingers tugging, but he escapes. Blow after blow, he fights forward with an Herculean type power, dragging opponents along the way. I guess dragging that weighted sled in 100 degree summer heat has paid its dues. Nothing can hold him back this time. Only one defender stands between him & everlasting glory. He leaps. Extending the football toward the pylon, stretching for every inch....The last second slips from the clock, the buzzer sounds.....(WHACK).....
BEEP....BEEP....BEEP....BEEP....Light floods his penthouse suite. He can still feel the pain from that last shot he took. Mother Winter waits outside this morning. The roars from the crowd still resound in his head. He pulls back the covers as he stretches to turn off his alarm. He admires the front page of the daily sports section at the foot of his bed. A portrait of him hoisting the championship trophy tells the story of victory. It was him this time. He had envisioned that moment since he was old enough to walk. Things finally went his way. He exorcised his demons. Bad luck?...there is no luck. He earned every bit of his triumph. His vision had become a reality, no longer to be hid in the shadows. As he folds his legs over the side of the bed, he slides his feet into his sneakers. There will be no off day today. As he makes his way to the training facility, the Dreamer exclaims: "Man...let's go get us another one..."
You see, DREAMERS skip to the good part, and fail to possess the fortitude & commitment to make those dreams into a reality. VISIONARIES have a plan in place that shows them how to get where they want to be, and sacrifice whatever is necessary to get there. A dream is like a trip without a road map. Never dream what is possible. Envision the road to your destination BEYOND your wildest dreams...
Friday, February 13, 2015
Coaches' Wives: A Coach's Greatest Teammate
With Valentine's Day fast approaching, couples will be showing their appreciation for those they love with flowers, cards, candy, and many other displays of affection. It is a great time of year for spouses and significant others to reflect on how much the ones they hold dear mean to them and the reasons why. As have many others, I have been doing a lot of deep thinking about how fortunate I am to be married to a woman who deserves so much. There are many reasons that quickly came to mind. My wife, Michelle, is caring, patient, funny, intelligent, and yes, very beautiful. I'm quite certain that she got the short end of the deal, but nonetheless, very blessed to call her mine. As with many things in my life, I have a tendency to relate them to the game of football, and I hope in this post I don't undermine the importance of the message I am trying to get across by doing so.
There are many different types of coaches. Those that are soft-spoken, those that yell quite frequently, player's coaches, and those that are more gruff and rigid in their approach. However drastic their independent styles, most coaches share many of the same characteristics. They are usually tireless workers driven toward success which can lead them to spend many hours at the office especially during the season. For many of us, that means that someone has to be running the household from early August until the unfortunate end to our seasons. Bills must still be paid, laundry must still be washed, and the children need a great deal of care and attention. Many times problems arise that must be solved without consultation while still finding the time to make it to every game and work a full-time job during the week. That person must be tough, resilient, and be willing to sacrifice their own needs to allow us to do something we are so passionate about. Coaches' wives are among the most strong, resourceful people in our society.
One word that I love to talk about with my players on a consistent basis is sacrifice. Our program preaches that an individual must sacrifice greatly for the things it most desires, and that sacrifice is paramount for individual and team success. I've found over the last few years that I have learned a great deal about sacrifice from my wife. Two years ago the head coaching job came open here at Hesston. Before applying, I discussed the possibility of packing up and moving with my wife (then fiancé). With our wedding approaching that summer, it seemed like a difficult proposition to consider. Even with the foreshadowed stresses that would come from selling my house, moving halfway across the state, and leaving her own job in Pittsburg, she was fully behind the idea of making Hesston our new home. That single event created many chain reaction events, but I have been so lucky to have someone who would sacrifice a place and friends she loved to travel down an unbeaten path in a new marriage.
This past year we found a house here in Hesston that we both loved, the only problem with purchasing a new home at that time was that the closing date fell on Homecoming weekend. I had my doubts about whether this was even something we should attempt. However, I had momentarily forgotten that I was married to one of the most determined individuals I know. This was GOING to happen, and we were going to make it work. My wife and I are very different in some ways. I absolutely despise doing things around the house. Very selfishly I tend to think that any time spent at home is rest time. On the contrary, if there is something that my wife deems that needs to be done at home, she will stop at no ends to make sure it is completed. I greatly admire her for that. She is very purposeful and direct in her approach professionally as well. During the weekend of the move and weeks to come, she worked a full-time job and spent many hours late into the night painting, decorating, and turning our house into our home mostly on her own. Needless to say, I was foolish to have reservations about moving at such a time.
In addition to making countless sacrifices around the home and with their families, coaches wives also must have very thick skin. Believe it or not, sometimes fans don't always agree with a coaches decisions on a Friday night. And again, believe it or not, they can be very vocal in their disapproval. I have been extremely fortunate in my career in that I have had great community support wherever I have been. That's not to say that there haven't been a few less than kind comments or coaching tips hurled from the stands at any given point, but perhaps they may have been right. I've made a lot of bad play calls and coaching decisions in my time and readily admit that. Luckily, a football coaches' headset keeps many of those comments from ever reaching their ears. I can only imagine the restraint that it would take for me to set in a public display of my wife's work and listen to someone ridicule her performance. Coaches' wives sometimes can even catch the brunt for her husband's shortcomings. It takes a lot of toughness and fortitude to contain emotions when that sort of thing happens and often times I'm sure they tuck away many of those comments from their husbands. It's not only the wives of head coaches that make great sacrifice. I have great appreciation for our assistant coaches' wives because they make many of those same sacrifices. During football season, coaching is literally a 7-day-a-week job. Practice Monday-Thursday, game Friday night, film Saturday morning, and coaches meetings on Sunday afternoon.
Wives of coaches sacrifice doesn't end when the season is over. There is clinic season, pre-season coaches meetings, summer conditioning, and team functions. Coaches' wives often attend family functions, weddings, and other important events when their husband is fulfilling not only his obligations, but pursuing his passion. Love is measured in many different ways, but in my estimation there is no greater showing of love than sacrificing your own wants and needs for the happiness of the people you love. I greatly admire those who knowingly step into a commitment, in which they know ahead of time, that will test their patience, their energy, their time, and their ability to spend meaningful time with their spouse. I am grateful that I found a companion that allows me to pursue my passions and that she cares enough to sacrifice her own needs to let me do so. I'm so blessed God has given me the greatest teammate I could ever ask for.
I love you, Michelle! Happy Valentine's Day!
There are many different types of coaches. Those that are soft-spoken, those that yell quite frequently, player's coaches, and those that are more gruff and rigid in their approach. However drastic their independent styles, most coaches share many of the same characteristics. They are usually tireless workers driven toward success which can lead them to spend many hours at the office especially during the season. For many of us, that means that someone has to be running the household from early August until the unfortunate end to our seasons. Bills must still be paid, laundry must still be washed, and the children need a great deal of care and attention. Many times problems arise that must be solved without consultation while still finding the time to make it to every game and work a full-time job during the week. That person must be tough, resilient, and be willing to sacrifice their own needs to allow us to do something we are so passionate about. Coaches' wives are among the most strong, resourceful people in our society.
One word that I love to talk about with my players on a consistent basis is sacrifice. Our program preaches that an individual must sacrifice greatly for the things it most desires, and that sacrifice is paramount for individual and team success. I've found over the last few years that I have learned a great deal about sacrifice from my wife. Two years ago the head coaching job came open here at Hesston. Before applying, I discussed the possibility of packing up and moving with my wife (then fiancé). With our wedding approaching that summer, it seemed like a difficult proposition to consider. Even with the foreshadowed stresses that would come from selling my house, moving halfway across the state, and leaving her own job in Pittsburg, she was fully behind the idea of making Hesston our new home. That single event created many chain reaction events, but I have been so lucky to have someone who would sacrifice a place and friends she loved to travel down an unbeaten path in a new marriage.
This past year we found a house here in Hesston that we both loved, the only problem with purchasing a new home at that time was that the closing date fell on Homecoming weekend. I had my doubts about whether this was even something we should attempt. However, I had momentarily forgotten that I was married to one of the most determined individuals I know. This was GOING to happen, and we were going to make it work. My wife and I are very different in some ways. I absolutely despise doing things around the house. Very selfishly I tend to think that any time spent at home is rest time. On the contrary, if there is something that my wife deems that needs to be done at home, she will stop at no ends to make sure it is completed. I greatly admire her for that. She is very purposeful and direct in her approach professionally as well. During the weekend of the move and weeks to come, she worked a full-time job and spent many hours late into the night painting, decorating, and turning our house into our home mostly on her own. Needless to say, I was foolish to have reservations about moving at such a time.
In addition to making countless sacrifices around the home and with their families, coaches wives also must have very thick skin. Believe it or not, sometimes fans don't always agree with a coaches decisions on a Friday night. And again, believe it or not, they can be very vocal in their disapproval. I have been extremely fortunate in my career in that I have had great community support wherever I have been. That's not to say that there haven't been a few less than kind comments or coaching tips hurled from the stands at any given point, but perhaps they may have been right. I've made a lot of bad play calls and coaching decisions in my time and readily admit that. Luckily, a football coaches' headset keeps many of those comments from ever reaching their ears. I can only imagine the restraint that it would take for me to set in a public display of my wife's work and listen to someone ridicule her performance. Coaches' wives sometimes can even catch the brunt for her husband's shortcomings. It takes a lot of toughness and fortitude to contain emotions when that sort of thing happens and often times I'm sure they tuck away many of those comments from their husbands. It's not only the wives of head coaches that make great sacrifice. I have great appreciation for our assistant coaches' wives because they make many of those same sacrifices. During football season, coaching is literally a 7-day-a-week job. Practice Monday-Thursday, game Friday night, film Saturday morning, and coaches meetings on Sunday afternoon.
Wives of coaches sacrifice doesn't end when the season is over. There is clinic season, pre-season coaches meetings, summer conditioning, and team functions. Coaches' wives often attend family functions, weddings, and other important events when their husband is fulfilling not only his obligations, but pursuing his passion. Love is measured in many different ways, but in my estimation there is no greater showing of love than sacrificing your own wants and needs for the happiness of the people you love. I greatly admire those who knowingly step into a commitment, in which they know ahead of time, that will test their patience, their energy, their time, and their ability to spend meaningful time with their spouse. I am grateful that I found a companion that allows me to pursue my passions and that she cares enough to sacrifice her own needs to let me do so. I'm so blessed God has given me the greatest teammate I could ever ask for.
I love you, Michelle! Happy Valentine's Day!
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