What Defines A Great Leader?

When thinking about the most revered leaders throughout history or even in the history of our own country they generally share many of the same traits and characteristics. Words like strong, passionate, and intelligent often come to mind. But when looking at leaders like Abraham Lincoln, George Washington and  Martin Luther King Jr. the most significant trait they shared was their ability to inspire and empower their nation and their communities. Those we often look up to in our own lives was not their ability to give money or possession, but their willingness to expose themselves to unknown, adverse situations and the appreciation they communicated to those around them.

From the time I was a kid my oldest brother would point out my own selfishness. I still remember the time as an 8 year old that I took the last few pieces from the candy drawer eating them before the opportunity to share could arise. My brother made the comment that I was conceited and selfish for not sharing and thinking of others. When I was in middle school and as a freshmen in high school I would yell and scream at my offensive line for not blocking for myself or our running backs. My middle brother had been the starting quarterback for 3 years and had just graduated. I was excited about the opportunity to be the starting quarterback as a sophomore. My oldest brother heard me talking about the prospect and said "They won't play for you. They're not going to play for someone selfish like you." He was probably in part saying that to get under my skin, which was very easy to do, but there is many a truth said in jest. That one statement, whether he realized it or not, had a profound effect on me. I wanted them to block well for me so I looked good. It forced me to think about how I didn't recognize their efforts and how vital they were to our team success. As a coach now, I believe that success in football is largely predicated on the success of the offensive and defensive line even though it mostly goes unnoticed. It is the ability for each player to understand their role is greatly important and valuable to reaching the goal. Great leaders appreciate and acknowledge the efforts of everyone around them that contributes to the success of a whole.

Our middle school principal in Hesston, Mr. Proctor, is a man I greatly respect and admire. He was also my high school basketball coach my senior season. It is very routine for him to leave small notes to teachers around the building saying how much he appreciates what they do for our students. It is a small gesture, but has a great impact on the environment that we work in each day that trickles down from our staff to our students. As the principal at Southeast High School, Mr. Proctor was loved by our teaching staff. It was a very sad day when he let everyone know he would be moving on. I stayed at Southeast for one more year, and perhaps the person who admired and missed him the most was one our custodians. He would talk at length about how Mr. Proctor would notice and appreciate the quality of his work. The agenda behind our efforts must also have the right motivation. Lou Holtz, legendary football coach at Notre Dame, tells a story of when he used to be a salesman that sold cemetery plots for which he earned a commission off each sale. When he first started, he wanted people to buy cemetery plots to help him, but wasn't having great success, but once he started communicating to customers how buying a cemetery plot could help them his results greatly increased. The motivation behind our ability to succeed must be pure and take into account those who help us become successful as a team, a business, or a family. It is human nature to want to feel appreciated for what we do. It is very easy for those around us to recognize when our motivations aren't genuine and in the best interest of everyone involved. Don't lead with the lash, lead with love and appreciation.

There are generally two ways to accomplish a task as leader, but they have greatly differing results. Standing proud and giving demands, or humbling ourselves and empowering those who are entrusted to you. The first may get the job done, but will breed resentment and may barely accomplish the task. It is not built to last. The latter will lead to inspiration that will yield greater results than anticipated. To lead by definition is: to cause a person to go with one by holding them by the hand while moving forward. I often think of the painting of George Washington and his troops crossing the Delaware River. (Below)

What stands out to me most is the he is at the front of the first boat crossing the river. His troops had the comfort that their general was leading them into a situation he was willing to put his own life in. Leading from the front shelters those entrusted to you and shows them how to navigate uncharted territory as opposed to leading from behind and exposing them to circumstances unknown before ones own self. It also shows that you are willing to encounter the same conditions, good or bad, as everyone else. Leading from behind is unsafe and dangerous to those around you. Being a leader is found directly in it's definition. Whatever you hope to accomplish, or environment that you wish to create you must be at the forefront and communicate appreciation to reach your destination. Who knows? Perhaps the heights are greater than you yourself anticipated.

Victory Has Defeated You

About a year a ago, I wrote a blog post that was derived around a statement from one of my favorite movies, The Dark Knight Rises, called "Darkness is Your Ally".  I'm one of those people that will watch my favorite movies over and over, and yesterday afternoon I popped the movie on as I fell in and out of a nap (I woke up early to watch a few of our athletes participate in a powerlifting meet). During the same scene in the movie when Batman fights Bane for the first time, and another statement stuck out to me. Batman had lost a great deal of his strength after not using his skills in recent years due to the fact that organized crime had been reduced a great deal and he wasn't needed. Noticing the lack of strength, Bane told Batman "Victory has defeated you." This simple statement led me to thinking about how that applies to all of us not only in coaching, but in our average daily lives in many different ways.

In coaching and athletics, it is very easy to be motivated when things aren't going our way. If we lose a game that we feel we should have won, have a disappointing season, or are coming back from an injury. There is a natural drive that is present in times of despair. But what happens to that motivation when we experience success? Nick Saban talked frequently after his teams at Alabama won the National Championship that repeating as champions was the hardest thing to do in athletics because those in the organization become satisfied. They don't feel the need to do the things they had to do the year before to have the same result thus weakening themselves and leading to future disappointment.  The organization that continually challenges themselves to make improvements and seek areas of weakness will have the best chance of staying on top. The first statement Saban made to his returning team shortly after winning the 2011 National Championship, was "You are NOT the National Champions. Some of you played on a National Championship team, but THIS team is not the National Champions. A Champion is yet to be determined this season."

As coaches, it is easy to become comfortable with winning, and we fail to take into account that the same teams we have enjoyed success against are hungry to experience what we have enjoyed. Perhaps we don't approach our offseason workouts with the same tenacity, make changes to our playbook that could give us a strategic advantage, or hold players to the same standards in practice and preparation. During the powerlifting competition yesterday, I saw a few players from a school on our schedule that we have beaten the last two years, this year the game being closer than the first. I have to say that I was impressed with the physical improvements of their players. You could see the hunger in their approach. It was a feeling familiar to me. In my first season as a head coach, our team went 1-8 and it was easy to point out and explain to our players the areas that we need to improve upon. We only lost one game this season, although a crucial one) and have not lost a league game in over two years. Without a doubt that is a blessing, but if our organization doesn't use that success properly to springboard our program and continually raise the bar then it will most assuredly become a curse. We cannot allow our success to make us weak or we can find ourselves back in the same situation we have risen from.

How does this affect us in our daily lives? How does it affect those not involved in athletics? There are many things in life that we take for granted. In the early stages of a relationship with our spouse or significant other, we constantly tell them how important they are to us, but as time goes on perhaps we may not remind them enough or show the same affection we did when the relationship was new and fresh. A CEO or salesman becomes comfortable when the numbers look good and fails to anticipate the problems that lie ahead or fix cracks in the organization. A teacher whose classes scores high on states assessments might not be as creative in their instructional methods the following year. My wife and I recently bought a house and couldn't be happier. I quickly found that it was more difficult to stay motivated and was more apt to flop down on the couch and flip on the tv in the "man cave" I'd never had. Remembering the sacrifices that we had both made to improve our situation is the best way to keep us grounded.

Good or great? What is it that you seek? Will you settle for a good, normal life or will you strive to reach your dreams and aspirations? Are you satisfied with an average marriage or relationship with your children? Is your team comfortable with a winning season, winning a couple of playoff games, or winning a championship? Though you have enjoyed the spoils of victory, life does not had out warrantees of how long success or happiness will last. It has an uncanny ability to pull us down just when we begin to become comfortable with our accomplishments. The difference between organizations and people that enjoy and sustain greatness in any facet of their lives is in their ability recognize the areas of weakness and build upon them. They seek new ideas and innovative ways to present information. They hold a certain level of paranoia that constantly reminds them of the possibility of their demise. Our world is a competitive environment. Everyone is reaching for something better. Keep practicing your developmental skills. Stay sharp. Keep reaching higher. If you are experiencing great success in your personal or professional life, don't forget the process of what got you where you are. Don't forget the lessons you have learned. Don't take for granted those around you that helped you get to where you are. Don't let victory defeat you.

Stone Age Coaching: Avoiding Narrow Minded Pitfalls

Most of us at some point in our life, probably in our youth, have thought we had it all figured out. Often times we've had view points that were so strong that we can't see any other way of doing things as being the a viable route, the "My Way or The Highway" or "World is Flat" approach. Everything was black & white, cut & dry. As we get older, generally, those view points either change or vary to a certain degree. Perhaps because of certain situations or events in our lives that show us that maybe things just aren't that simple. Experience is a key factor in this, but most of the time it's because of the information that we come across that expands our horizons or causes our minds to be open to new ideas.

We have all witnessed, worked with, or even ourselves been narrowed minded individuals that only see one direction to the end result. In coaching, we can be frustrated by players who at 16 or 17 years old believe that their knowledge of the game is higher than those who have donned a whistle for more years than they have been alive. We have all known parents that believe that given the opportunity, they could take your team to the glory of a state championship with all of their valuable knowledge, after all that group of athletes won the Super Bowl in the 5th grade. Perhaps you have even worked under an administration that gets swept up in the current of "this is the way is has always been done around here." Still, there is an important thought to consider. Have we, as coaches, gotten caught up in the same, one track, narrow-minded mentality?

What I have witnessed from others and continuously learned in coaching is: the more I learn, the more I realize I do not know. As a young coach, I didn't even realize the scope or broad spectrum of what I did not know. At first, this thought was extremely intimidating, almost to the point that I didn't know where to begin. The issue that I found I struggled with is that I was letting the fear of not knowing "everything", or not knowing "enough", stop me from even trying to expand my knowledge of the game, of different ideas, of different strategies. I was content to stick with the small amount of information I did possess for fear of contaminating the principles of what I believed in. What I missed out on was the thirst for knowledge I would develop as I was exposed to different ideas. That thirst can become somewhat of an addiction. It's exciting to discover a new play wrinkle, practice drill, or workout.

As coaches, we all have a certain offensive or defensive system that we swear by, a system that often times in our eyes gives our players the best chance to win. Gus Malzahn is a hot name in the ranks of college football coaches right now. What is interesting to see is the progression Coach Malzahn's offense from his days at Shiloh Christian to his offense now at Auburn, and his numerous stops along the way. Coach Malzahn became famous for his hurry-up, no-huddle offense in a variety of spread formations. Now, he has implemented many "Wing-T" concepts and an extremely effective "quick huddle" that has propelled Auburn's offensive production to near the top of the college football world. Coach Malzahn has used his extensive knowledge base to build packages into his offense from schemes that aren't primarily ones he's used in the past.

We all have concepts, schemes, and principles that we firmly believe in, but we shouldn't let those beliefs and principles hinder us from branching out and being innovative. There are many parts of the game of football, or anything in life, that we will never fully know or understand. However, we can't allow that to let us fall victim to the same actions and mindsets of others that make us cringe. It applies to anything within the realm of the operation of our program from schemes, to leadership, practice habits, drills, workouts, competitive situations, and team building activities. What worked in 2003, may not translate to 2014, especially when it come to motivation of today's athletes. The best advice I can offer to young coaches (including myself) is to dive in. Gather as much information from as many sources and coaches as possible, to create and mold your own philosophy. There is no "One Way" to build a successful program or product on the field. Much of the same can be said for the game of life. Have an open mind. Be creative. Most importantly, be fearless in your exploration of the game. Better to find that out sooner than later.

Why I Love Football...

It's been said that if you do what you love for a living you will never work a day in your life. Most people have some hobby or release that gives them a great deal of joy, but what separates a hobby from a passion? Is it the ability to make money dabbling in a hobby? I like to think of a passion as hobby that someone immerses themselves in. It's no longer just simple enjoyment, but a deep love for a certain activity. Often times a person's passion creates a great challenge for them, that consumes them, and eludes them. However, most often the reason someone is consumed with their passion is because of what it gives back in return, and some times in big ways.

YOUTH

Many people would say it's just a game, and in many respects they would be 100% correct. However to me, football is much more than a game. I can attribute most of the important things in my life to the game of football or the direct relationship between football and what is dear to me. From the time I was young I was consumed with sports. I liked all sports, if they were football, basketball, & baseball. I can remember from an early age though that most of my favorite moments playing as a child were revolved around football. When I was 5, an older teen from a different church would bring a football to our revival and throw passes to the young kids. He used to have his dad come watch me dive for catches and tell me how great I was. It made me feel like Jerry Rice until he showed up with a girlfriend one year. Every Sunday afternoon during football season, my dad and I would take on my two older brothers in the backyard even if dad was tired from harvest. I loved those afternoons. It's something I can't wait to do with my kids someday.

INFLUENCE

During middle school, football was of marginal importance since we played together with our rival schools within our own district. We never really had great chemistry on those teams. However, that changed dramatically in high school. I've been extremely blessed to have been around many of the coaches I played under. My high school football coach had a profound effect on me during those four years. I had made a choice to speed home one night that left me with a broken ankle, mashed up face, and no drivers license for a year. During summer weights my parents would drop me off at Coach's house to ride the rest of the way there. An opportune time for him to lecture me or come down on me, but he never did. Of course he told me to be smart, but then he talked with me about how he had many some dumb decisions as a youth as well which shocked me quite honestly. He was such a good Christian man, I wouldn't have ever thought he made any similar mistakes. What got me the most is that he was willing to openly share those things with me. Something that I have no shame in sharing my players and students now. Needless to say, my high school football coach was the reason I wanted to coach one day as well because I wanted to be able share and impact the way he impacted me. If it weren't for football, I would never have had a mentor to guide me in that time of my life.

I had the great pleasure of coaching with him on his staff for three years.

FRIENDSHIP

Football has given me friendships that are still standing to this day. When my classmates and I were sophomores, many of us started on our varsity squad. We went a dismal 2-7 that season. However, we were a close knit group who knew the value of hard work. We weren't a privileged group, just a group of blue collar kids. At that time no football team in our school's 43 year history had ever won a playoff game. Our experience and perseverance led us to the first playoff win in school history. Coming into our senior year we had developed great chemistry and we had become a brotherhood. We had each other's backs. We bickered and argued, but it was a special thing to be a part of when we would band together in times of adversity. We ended that senior year with a one point loss in the state quarter finals. Best season in school history. It was excruciating to walk off the field hand-in-hand with one of my brothers who is still a great friend to this day & was in my wedding last summer. Another one of my best friends who was also a groomsman in my wedding was on that team. After college we became roommates, and at my first head coaching job I had the chance to bring him on our staff. Those were two great years of late night film study, and personnel & philosophical discussions. Football not only helped solidify two friendships that are still strong today, but gave me a chance to compete again alongside one of my best friends.

LOVE

I wasn't kidding when I said that if it weren't for football that I wouldn't have many of the things I cherish today. It probably even sounded like I didn't love my wife, if you already knew I was married. Pitt State football is huge in Southeast Kansas. My wife and I both attended Pitt State at the same time, but in four years we had never met even though she was good friends with my cousin. She was living back with her parents two hours away after graduation. But on September 18th, 2010, God's plan came to fruition. My cousin had invited me over to his house to grill steaks after the Pitt State game....and there was a beautiful girl there that I simply couldn't take my eyes off of who liked red dirt country music. I was hooked! Even though apparently when we first met my wife thought I was a little too confident, just under three years later we tied the knot. Had there never been a Pitt State football game that day, she never would have been in town. So I literally have the Pitt State football game to thank for our small new family. 

RELATIONSHIP

There is nothing more that I value in coaching than developing relationships with players. Football gives me the outlet to develop relationships and hopefully somewhere along the way impact a young person like my coach did for me. I think in many respects, I've learned as much from players as they have from me. As coaches we always preach about battling through adversity, but we face the demons of defeat just like the players do. One group of young men hold a special place in my heart because they confirmed many things I believed, but not yet witnessed. The Class of 2013, and the two classes below them, at Southeast High School, my alma mater where I came back to coach, taught me what rising through adversity truly meant. In their first two seasons in high school, while I was still an assistant, they had a combined 4 wins. My first year as a head coach it got worse when we went 1-8 and got beat by an average of almost 50 points per game. I was tired of losing, and so were they. They committed themselves to an idea, to a principle. After an offseason of hard work, they started the next season 6-1 while beating two teams by 28 points who had beaten us by 28 & 50 the year before. That season and those kids confirmed so many things for me and I'm deeply indebted to those young men, they gave me hope in a dire situation. I loved those guys like every other player I have and they loved me, and we weren't afraid to tell each other that. Perhaps the greatest surprise I have ever received came this fall at my first game here in Hesston, when before the game I looked into the stands to see a blob of Columbia Blue. Seven of my former players had driven 3 1/2 hours for my first game as a Swather. That is the power of football. The bonds it forms are unexplainable and uniquely special to me. I've now started to form some great relationships with my players here in Hesston this year and that will always be my #1 goal. I am extremely blessed to be around the great group of young men we have here, and look forward to continue building a brotherhood with the young men in our Swather Football family that will last beyond their playing days.

Football has led me to events, places, and people I would never have had the opportunity to experience without it. So you see, it's not "just a game" to me...

RISE - Darkness is your Ally

Everyone at some point in their life has had events or periods of time in their life that have seemed bleak and without promise. You've been knocked down and the walls were closing in around you. Maybe you are in a similar place now. Life has a way of kicking us when we're down, finding ways to pull us to a new low. Our only resource at that time, no matter the support system from those around us, is our approach to adverse circumstances. Often times we dwell on our misfortunes that have left us in a dark place. What we often fail to realize is that those situations in our life, our darkest moments, are perhaps our greatest blessings.

I was very fortunate as a youth to grow up in a Christian household with two of the greatest, most loving parents a child could ask for. I was blessed with great mentors and role models throughout grade school and on into high school. The only adverse circumstances I encountered were those that were created by my own poor choices and decisions. I had the ability, and in most cases the curiosity, to test the borders of right and wrong. As I reflect on my life from the age of 18 to about 22, it is now apparent to me that I was in a bleak, dark place. I carried the burden of personal insecurity, complete lack of confidence in myself, and at worst a feeling of utter insignificance. I did my best to mask the internal wars my conscience waged on a daily basis. Many times my efforts to mask those insecurities showed to the outer world a pompous and arrogant adolescent, not ready for what was ahead. Indeed I was not ready. It was a time of uncertainty. A time in which I really wasn't sure of the direction I was meant to take.

In the winter on 2009, I received my education degree and was fortunate to land a technology position at my high school alma mater. That next summer at the age of 23, I accepted the head football and athletic director positions, both of which my mother wasn't sure I was ready for. Our first football season was full of disappointments and the pain of overwhelming defeats, finishing with a 1-8 record and an average loss per game of over 40 points. We had won four games in the past three seasons. My mother was usually correct in almost every situation, and seemingly so in this case as well. The defeats in my professional career fell in line with the defeats in my personal life at that time. The consistent theme and perhaps my greatest fault at that stage in my life was the refusal to fully commit myself to something, a person, or an idea. My girlfriend and I had split up in the early stages of that football season. It was simply an act of selfishness and insecurity. I'm not sure there was a darker point in my life than at that time. I had been searching for a life-long companion. I had been searching for reasons to why we couldn't build a winning football program. I was TIRED of losing personally.  I was tired of losing professionally. What is my purpose and why is it not revealing itself to me? Perhaps the depths of my darkness had been hiding me from my true purpose all along? A purpose that had been right in front of me all along.

The only shackles in life are the ones we clamp on ourselves. Life may thrust us into the pit of despair, but, in reality, it is upon ourselves to find a way to climb out of the abyss. What this realm of darkness had revealed to me is that those who have been starved from the light, anguished in failure, suffered from heartbreak have been given a training some people never receive. You can train in the dark, but until you have felt the agony of the shadows, been molded by the blackness, you cannot prepare yourself for the struggles it will bring. Your darkness, the lowest place you have ever been, is your greatest ally. A decision had to be made, and I was at a crossroads.

When I look back on the heartache, the blackness I dragged myself through, I now know that is a place I never want to return. I'm prepared for ANY struggle life throws my way. I made a decision to fully commit myself to those around me, and to this day it is the most rewarding decision I have ever made. The girl I foolishly broke up with is now my beautiful wife. The next season our football team went 6-3 and had the best regular season the school had seen in the past 12 years. Our players had felt the pain. Our seniors had won 4 game in their first three years, but...they made a decision, that their pain was their greatest friend, their despair was going to be their newfound strength. Rays of light stream into the darkest of places. Hope abounds in the bleakest of circumstances. Your fear is your strength. Your darkness is your ally...Rise...Rise...

Fight The Good Fight - Are Kids or Adults to Blame?

Lately, I have to admit that I have been struggling with something. There has been a war raging in my head. In the last month or so I've had trouble sleeping at night, and the thought has been consistently with me throughout my day. I am truly troubled with the current state of our youth. I know that, to older generations, it always seems as if the youth of their day is heading on a path of destruction. The latest music is blasphemy to their ears, overly violent & sexual. Their manners have vanished. "Please" & "Thank you" are terms only in the distant past. Respect to their elders is as common as snowfall on the equator, on & on...

I tend to agree with all of the thoughts above. However, my question is "why has this come to be?". I can't begin to think that I have all of the answers at the age of 25. I don't believe that their DNA has genetically been altered to produce such behavior. However, I do believe that the culture in which our older generations have surrounded our youth with has cultivated their current state. Do we as a society hold our children & our students accountable for their transgressions? What expectations do we hold for our young people? It seems to me that we tend to turn a blind eye to undesirable actions for fear of alienating them. If we as parents, coaches, & educators do not set & hold the standards in which our youth should live by, who will provide the example?

Teachers having affairs with students is far too prevalent. Public servants being involved in lawless impropriety is far too common. Divorce rates are off the charts. Adultery within our marriages show our youth that vows & promises can be taken back. Value of human life has been reduced to a mere number & a choice. It's safe to say that our spine is as flimsy as a jellyfish in the sea. The examples being set should be in a book of life of "What NOT To Do'

Hollywood has tainted human values. Kids spend countless hours exposed to reality television such as Jersey Shore & Teen Mom. Shows in which cameras follow cast members around & catch their most outrageous actions, shouting matches, sexual adventures, slothfulness, & party habits on film & display them weekly for teens to take in. In many cases, young people see these people as idols & celebrate their stupidity, drunkeness, or irresponsible actions. What happened to television in which wholesome living & human decency were celebrated? How many tv shows are produced in the 21st Century that relate to shows like The Andy Griffith Show or I Love Lucy? At the end of every episode there seemed to be a lesson in life or the greater good in which could be learned from. Perhaps the greater sin is not Hollywood producing this "trash", but the older generations viewing them as acceptable entertainment for our youth & letting them into our homes.

Rarely do families sit down at the dinner table for a family meal & take the time to discuss their day. How many parents & teachers are unaware of the problems that our youth are facing or are caught blindsided by unthinkable acts such as Newtown, Connecticut? Most of the issue lies in the fact that we don't take the time to talk to our children & our students & give them guidance in which to properly help solve or rectify their problems. Children & young adults need our attention, not our money or frivolous possessions. They need to be nurtured & shown they are loved. We are confused as to why school shootings & other atrocities occur with no remorse, that the perpetrator seems "cold" & "distant".  Were they told they were loved or care for? We should actively seek to teach them lessons in the fair treatment of others & the warm rewards we feel as a result of giving. How selfish is it to turn them away so their "problems" don't cause inconvenience our own lives?

Our apathy & lack of attention from the older generation has given way to many of the problems our youth face. The problem is not our youth. It is in their DNA to be curious, to push the envelope. However, it is OUR responsibility to offer steadfast & consistent guidance to assure that good & evil are separated. Right & wrong are black & white. However, the "gray area" is rapidly growing. It is up to us to draw the line in the sand & to defend goodness, accountability, respect, & chivalry with an iron & unwavering shield. We must not be afraid of how they will perceive our guidance. In the end, such as I did, they will come to understand why their parents & leaders set forth their rules & expectations. Our youth need to be protected from indecency & worldly evil, not thrown into the fire to make their own decisions. You wouldn't throw an untrained soldier into the field of battle without preparing him to fight for himself. We are preparing our youth for a war of good & evil. So please, don't be afraid to pick up your sword, stand your ground,  & fight the good fight. Evil only prevails when good people do nothing to stop it...

My Big Brother

For those of you who know my brother, this article will do nothing other than reiterate what you already know. For those of you who don't, I would like to the opportunity to share a little about the man whom I have looked up to for my entire life, one of the most selfless & genuine people you will ever meet.

Big brothers have the uncommon ability to test a younger sibling. They know exactly how to push every button you posses that conjures up emotions of anger within you that not even the wrath of Zeus could muster. They have an ability to grind down your emotions to your inner core. Almost certainly in your early years, they know you even better than you know yourself. However, let me shed a little light on the other side of the coin, one not necessarily seen by others. Let me tell you who my big brother is and his lasting influence on me.

Both of my brothers have had a great influence on my life. Perhaps due to our closeness in age, more of my time as a youth was probably spent with Derrick. Growing up on a farm in the middle of the strip pits in the heart of Southeast Kansas, entertainment was hard to find. Left with little choice and only three tv channels, we spent most of our time playing sports. It didn't matter the time of day, inside or out, we were actively engaged in emulating our favorite figures in each sport. The living room served as a ballpark, basketball arena, and gridiron stadium. With the separation of years between us, the athletic ability marked quite a measure of difference. Instead of putting on a beat-down comparable to a five star football program on a cupcake football team, my brother would find a way to even the playing field. In fact, he would unselfishly give himself the disadvantage. Perhaps my favorite games to play, he dubbed "Interception" & "Fumble". In each setting he would start as the offensive player and undoubtedly either throw a pass intended to be picked off or lose control of the football. My objective would be to return the ball to the end zone, the other side of the living room or to the couch, for a touchdown. He, also, played the entirety of the game from his knees. When playing NCAA tournaments on our full-court gravel arena, he would never guard my three-point shots and shoot with his left hand. I was always Kansas, North Carolina, or some other high profile program. He would represent the underdog, most commonly Providence or Richmond, etc. Every event was broadcast in his Gus Johnson announcer voice. Talk about heightened drama! Although many times, I would call him a cheater if I lost, throw the ball at him in disgust of a bad call, he threatened to never play with me again....Forty-five minutes later he would come find me in my pouty state and ask that we try again. No matter how I treated him or what I said, he would give me another try. Those games could not have been very fun for him since they were entirely tailored to me. It took me a long time to realize how selfless his actions were.

Entering high school, he would drag me to 6 A.M. weights where there might only be a total of eight guys showing up. He never allowed himself to sit down in his three hour workout. (A rule I implemented with our kids at the high school now) At 10 o'clock in the morning in the blazing summer sun, he put me through unrighteous, mile & a half sprint workouts with just the two of us on the track. Whether he just wanted the company or not, he was instilling a discipline & work ethic in me that would stay with me to this day. Track workouts that our athletes suffer through in our off-season, summer conditioning now. He was my idol, my role model. He always looked out for my best interests. One Friday night, I witnessed him take a hit to the chin that required stitches. The trainer wanted to deaden the area before proceeding. In order to speed the process, he declined anethesia & took the needle & the stitches cold. He never missed an offensive play. His toughness was unparalleled, but I came to realize he would sacrifice anything for his teammates and those around them.

Derrick went on the play football at Pittsburg State. Though he never saw much playing time, he stuck with it for all five years. I'll never forget him telling the story of the first time he ran through the tunnel. A few of my most cherished moments are the embraces we shared after losing in the state quarterfinals in Rossville, in which he drove four hours to even though he had a game the following day, and the sub-state victory in basketball of my senior season. He was always there for me in my failures & my successes whether they brought tears of overwhelming joy or excruciating sadness.

He is now is the Head Football coach at Riverton High School. His discipline, selflessness, & good nature remain a part of his daily life. He treats his players as if they were his own children, with respect & dignity. I can identify with the example he sets for them on a daily basis & I can say that they are truly blessed. Now married & with a son of his own, he demonstrates the same loving devotion that he gave me in my childhood with his own family.

My brother would never elaborate on his awesome personal characteristics. His humility would never allow him to. Although Derrick & I may have different coaching personalities, his being calm & collected and mine being a little more outwardly excitable, I still carry many of the values & principles he instilled in me. And although I'll never have a little brother of my own, perhaps I can influence my players the way he did me. I can honestly say that any little brother who is as fortunate to have a big brother like I did, is the luckiest kid on the planet.

Happy Birthday big brother! I hope it's the best one yet & there are many more to come. Whether you would ever admit it to anyone or not, you are an amazing individual and those around you are blessed to have been touched by your influence...